Mianhe!!!!

I lost my notebooks with the journal contents xD

I will seek harshly to find them and update ^_^

Mianhe ^^'

9th April, 2008 - Wednesday

So, it's 11h10am and I'm on the subway going back to my room because Mr.Shin forgot to tell me that today is a National Holiday... xD
Yeah, so I got up and bla bla to get to the school all happy and bang my nose on the door xD
But I'm so happy because of what happened yesterday that nothing can even begin to upset me xD
Me and Jin are getting closer and it's great! He is so funny and nice! Really... I like him a lot and I think he digs me too. lol
(Details: going out on sunday, I'm studying with him, he's going to choose a korean name for me, his name means "trully bright", he said I was pretty, fun, bright, a good teacher and a good friend!)YAY =)
(...)
so it's now 3h41am and I went to a place where people can access the internet, Jin took me ^^
I spoke with my mom and some friends but most of them weren't online so I sent emails saying I was alive and well and how much I miss them already!
OH MY GOD Jin gave me his cd player!! I brouhgt a bunch of cd's but forgot my cd player and he lended me his (or so I thought) then he said "no Ana, it's gift forever" like... waaaa!! How nice and amazing is that?? An amazing gesture... oh I'm so fascinated by him! xD
And oh on sunday not only are we going to Seoul tower, but also dinner!! Very cool!! His idea! yayayay! =)
Thursday, 10th April 2008

Hello!! lol
So yesterday and the day before I was to amazed to write xD and I totally forgot to write about Richard!! LOOL So there I was coming to my gosiwon when this morrocain dude aproachs me and long story short we had a drink at 11am xD I had a coke while he had vodka, he invited me for lunch but I told him I couldn't because I had to go home straight away and... I pretty much ditched him! xD He was already saying how he would love to have more than friendship with me... I mean c'mon pal! 10mins of talking? Give me a break! He even bought me a japanese flag because I said I loved a japanese singer! xD anyway, he kept touching my arm has he spoke... blargh! He wanted my number... no thank you! I hate being rude, but I'm traumatized so I said I didn't have a cellphone cause I was there on vacations! xD
So, another day has passed by, and today no work, but tomorrow I must be at some station at 9h30! xD
... I don't know if it was because I stayed home all day, but I feel so homesick... bah

6th of April 2008 (Sunday)

I don't wanna talk about yesterday because it was a very bad day for me...Got depressed because I need my friends, I need to share all of this with someone. bah. but I can't so whatever! moving on..
Oh wait... today nothing happened again xD I stayied home, did my laundry, went shopping to the 7/11 around the corner and smoked on the roof listening to my music.

7th of April 2008 (Monday)

So today a lot happened!!
First I went to teach at Bangbae and it was great! 4 classes and I was invited to always eat lunch there, with the Principal of the Kindergarden ^^ So I had a home made korean meal, and it was yummie!!!
Then, I got lost on the subway on my way to the afternoon classes =X, Mr.Shin got very angry! xD But everything happens for a reason, and I met Jin on the way back home, so we came together ^^!
Before I saw him, this stupid guy was about to beat me! I looked at him ONCE and he started yelling at me! "Why are you staring at me??" he yelled, and I was like... say what??? I removed my earphones (which were pretty loud so imagine how loud the guy was screaming on the subway) and said that I was not staring at him... He said "OK" and moved away... WTH?? xD xD
Anyways, me and Jin arrived at the gosiwon and he had to go meet a friend so I went to the roof to get my clothes, and guess what... I fell down the roof stairs and hit the door... xD I laugh but it still hurts! Then I looked up and realised there was a CAMERA pointing at me!! AAAAAAHHHHH xD maybe Jin saw me falling... oh god... xD
Anyways, the night was much better, I went to study with Jin because he has his english academy's final exam so he must study hard! We studied for 1hour20mns and then went to the roof to smoke a ciggie ^^ and talk of course. Very nice! =)
And...we...are going out on sunday!!! yay!! We are going to Seoul Tower, the highest in Korea I believe! He asked me if I wanted to go, and obviously I said yes, I haven't had the chance to see any sights so this is perfect! =)
Meanwhile... It's been 4 days since I spoke to anyone from Portugal and while I'm excited about sightseeing, I miss talking to them all... =( I miss ALL OF THEM!! oh well.... ok good night xD LOL

4th of April, 2008 (Friday)

So yesterday I stayied home cause I wasn't called to any new school, and thank god because my kidneys hurted ! I stayied in and watched tv, very interessing xD!
But today I'm really happy!! =)
I've finally made a friend! lol
And not just anyone... Jin! lol Jin is one of the gosiwon employees, the one who said hello to me =) and sidenote... he is so cute!! He is really nice and has a great senseof humour! Plus, he speaks english and has a really pretty smile =)
We just spent an hour or so outside, in the gosiwon's downstairs backdoor, talking and smoking xD
Next year he will go to Portugal yay! we hi5'd eachother... xD xD
I'm really happy! =)
And he also allowed me to use the gosiwon's reception computer, so I checked my emails...Man my friends are the best!! I miss them all!! So much... =X
Oh yeah, Jin has my cellphone number and wants my portuguese adress, =)
Making friends and mingle is exactly what I need to forget about "him" and hang in here =) NICE!

"Could I ever have all I've been after?"

April 2nd, 2008 (Wednesday)

So, yesterday I went to my first teaching experience... And although I thought it went good enough, I was told that I got fired!! =S
But hey, I know it wasn't my fault!! Bah!
(Listening to Orenji no taiyou =) )
Anyway, yesterday I bought a cellphone and I called a bunch of people who were very happy to hear from me =)
I miss everyone so much! Really, I try not to think about it, 'cause when I do I cry...
I knew it was going to be hard, but it's even harder than I imagined!
Anyway... Today I went to teach at another school, and I teached 5 different classes in 2h30m!! Geez it's tiring!! I have to develop some kind of plan... lol
I also got my "curse" today..Sh*t! Thank God it's not hurting a lot, but I really wish I didn't have it =s
(Listening to Reno)..."I try my best to be strong", "Does it have to be harder than ever, my heart beat's way too fast to recover..." I don't know why I transcribed those lines from "I Still", but they mean something!!
This is so stupid, but I thought that being away from Portugal and having a different routine would make me forget some stuff. It did, ok... but the one thing I never thought about back home keeps pounding in my mind, my heart...every inch of me. My forbidden crush? Is that what this is called? I'm not sure, but whatever it is, it's always in my head and I feel awful about it... Not for me, but for him and his wife... I have no right whatsoever to like him!
Ok, so I didn't exactly choose to feel this, but I've managed to keep it a secret for one year, why am I like this now? Ready to blow up?
Oh bloody hell...

30th March, 2008 (Monday)

It's my third day here, it's ok I guess...

Today, in a few hours I'm going to meet the guy who has part time jobs for me. =)

I think I'm suppose to start today which is cool...right? =P

So, I'm in my room in Itaewon, the center of Seoul (or so Omar says xD) and it's almost noon, he is coming to pick me up = at 1h30\2h pm so I've cleaned my room, stored my clothes and after pickin' up a Vanilla latte at Starbucks for 5700won I think I will drink my coffee here at the gosiwon for 100won... xD I mean, c'mon, more than 5dls for a latte?!? Geez...

That's the same as a full meal at McDonalds! The most expensive thing I've bought so far was Gackt's cd =), but it's well woth it!!

I just hope I can make enough to buy a freakin laptop! The gosiwon price includes interet cable, so I really need a laptop! And fast!

I'm dying to go online and talk to everyone! I need to have them telling me they support me! =(

...Man, I need to let this out, but noone can read it...here goes...
I'm so in love with...I can´t!! But I feel it...But it's forbidden! Damn it!
Ok, O******! There, I've said it! I love him! I need to hear his voice, I need his advices, but I mustn't! And I mustn't tell anyone because... because he is married! =X Yes... He is married and he is completly devoted to his wife.
So, once again (as fu**in' always) I love the wrong guy...
Will I ever get it right? No, I think not! Oh god...

sidenote - I know you people are thinking, who the hell goes to another country and gets depressed about loving a guy =X but that's exactly what was affecting me... Go figure! xD
29th March, 2008 (Sunday)

Well, here I am in South Korea!

I arrived yesterday, and even though it's awesome to be in a foreign country, I'm not feeling like I'm going to stay for one year. And here's why:

-The great job proposal is gone, so I'm gonna have to pay house rent and food supllies.

- Omar is not an interesting guy at all.

- I wanted something awesome, and so far I only call this "ok".



So, I'm staying at a gosiwon, I paid 250.000won which I think is 250dls, for a room with TV and internet cable (no pc included xD).

And since my VISA is only for 2 months and unless I can get a contract, I will have to go back home.

My Korean Journal

The title is self explanatory, I will post here all the journal entries I wrote while being in Korea for 2 months... Since I was alone, I'm pretty sure I didn'n leave out anything unwritten.


As it turns out, the very first day I didn't write anything, except how I felt about Amsterdam airport xD

So, basically I arrived to Seoul, Korea after a 15h flight, and the guy(Omar) who arranged everything for me there, tells me that there is no job, no house, no nothing and that this was all a plan to get me there to marry him!! Imagine my face!! I could've killed him!! I wanted to beat him up!! His supid face staring at me... saying it was all a lie... ARGH!!

It was not bad enough that he picked me up 2 hours later, so there I was, grabbing to my suitcase, thinking what did I get myself into??

When he tells me that, I just thought for 2 seconds... if I freak out, leave or whatever, I will be screwed!! So, I acted all normal as possible, told him that I needed a place to stay, he begged me to stay at his house which I obviously said NO!! So he took me to Itaewon, where he lived, but to a gosiwon (sort of like a frathouse), where we waited for like 3 hours cause noone was in the reception. xD While waiting he was sooooo annoying to me, speaking all this crap about our "wedding" and how happy he was, bla bla... but he was soooo uninteresting I was about to fall asleep! Eventually the reception guy showed up with what I thought was a friend, Omar said we wanted to check in and the guy gave us a tour of the place, and showed me some rooms from me to choose from, with or without window, with fridge, bla bla. I eventually choose room number 8, no window and no fridge xD

Got the paperwork done, payment done and they provided me with a set of keys, one for the room door, and the other for the little closet outside where we should keep our shoes xD

While filling out the papers, I noticed the reception guy's friend was cute =X, and he said "Hello" as he noticed I was looking at him, I'm sure I was all red in the face as I thought "Yay he speaks english!!" Later on I found out that he was also a worker there, who lived there too in the guys's floor ^^
Jin Hwan Kim is his name, and now I can call him a dear friend! But that friendship will be explained later on eheheh

So, all settled and dying of starvation, Omar asked if I wanted to go eat, I said "No I'm too tired I need to sleep (liar!!)" he said that tomorrow he would show me around and monday we would go to his boss so he can give me a part time job. (That's the least you could do!!) He left (thank god), and I took a shower, unpacked my stuff, and went to explore the area. Found a hotel with phone and immediatly called my mom telling her everything, she freaked out logically but I calmed her down saying I had a job on sight and I was not living with him. I then called Isis ^^ and told her all of it, and asked to spread the word that I had arrived safely.

From there, I went to burger king and ate all I was intitled too, burger, fries, coke and onion rings (YummiE!!). Went for a walk around and found a street sail, with loads of cds... looking through the "G" section I read Gackt: Sixth Day... I freaked!! Took it and bought it that moment!! ^^ Feeling all happy, I went back to my gosiwon and as I was undoing my boots sitting on the stairs, Jin was in the reception and with his head at the little window asked me "army boots?" I said yes, and we smiled at eachother. (sillyness)

Went back up to room and didn't do much except fall into a deep sleep not really believing all was happening... I was somewhat mixed up.

*Thanks for reading, tomorrow will continue ^^
GacktAna