4th of April, 2008 (Friday)

So yesterday I stayied home cause I wasn't called to any new school, and thank god because my kidneys hurted ! I stayied in and watched tv, very interessing xD!
But today I'm really happy!! =)
I've finally made a friend! lol
And not just anyone... Jin! lol Jin is one of the gosiwon employees, the one who said hello to me =) and sidenote... he is so cute!! He is really nice and has a great senseof humour! Plus, he speaks english and has a really pretty smile =)
We just spent an hour or so outside, in the gosiwon's downstairs backdoor, talking and smoking xD
Next year he will go to Portugal yay! we hi5'd eachother... xD xD
I'm really happy! =)
And he also allowed me to use the gosiwon's reception computer, so I checked my emails...Man my friends are the best!! I miss them all!! So much... =X
Oh yeah, Jin has my cellphone number and wants my portuguese adress, =)
Making friends and mingle is exactly what I need to forget about "him" and hang in here =) NICE!

"Could I ever have all I've been after?"

April 2nd, 2008 (Wednesday)

So, yesterday I went to my first teaching experience... And although I thought it went good enough, I was told that I got fired!! =S
But hey, I know it wasn't my fault!! Bah!
(Listening to Orenji no taiyou =) )
Anyway, yesterday I bought a cellphone and I called a bunch of people who were very happy to hear from me =)
I miss everyone so much! Really, I try not to think about it, 'cause when I do I cry...
I knew it was going to be hard, but it's even harder than I imagined!
Anyway... Today I went to teach at another school, and I teached 5 different classes in 2h30m!! Geez it's tiring!! I have to develop some kind of plan... lol
I also got my "curse" today..Sh*t! Thank God it's not hurting a lot, but I really wish I didn't have it =s
(Listening to Reno)..."I try my best to be strong", "Does it have to be harder than ever, my heart beat's way too fast to recover..." I don't know why I transcribed those lines from "I Still", but they mean something!!
This is so stupid, but I thought that being away from Portugal and having a different routine would make me forget some stuff. It did, ok... but the one thing I never thought about back home keeps pounding in my mind, my heart...every inch of me. My forbidden crush? Is that what this is called? I'm not sure, but whatever it is, it's always in my head and I feel awful about it... Not for me, but for him and his wife... I have no right whatsoever to like him!
Ok, so I didn't exactly choose to feel this, but I've managed to keep it a secret for one year, why am I like this now? Ready to blow up?
Oh bloody hell...